Wednesday, September 28, 2011

the dreaded invitation list.

with this post, i do believe i have surpassed the number of all posts i have ever posted on my previous blogs....combined. ha! so let this be a testament to my tireless devotion to bringing my peeps one hell of a party next fall. "hold on to your butts!" {i love saying that. can you name that movie??}

ok, my sentiments about the invitation list = shoot me. right now. please? yeah.

i am told that this is hands down THE HARDEST THING a couple has to do for their wedding.

we don't want to exclude anyone, but there is a finite number of invitations we can afford to send for a number of reasons.

when we break it down to the cost per person for food and bevies at the reception, it's easy to say we will have X number of people. but then when looking back at the list at names and thinking about how great it would be to have so-and-so come, or how happy this or that person would be to get an invite, it's not so easy. maybe we'll just go to costco and buy a crap ton of hot pockets and capri sun.

luckily the space issue is now resolved by booking st. francis hall, but finding a venue that can fit 100+ people for a ceremony and reception in the dc area for less than $2500 was crazy frustrating.

{with no particular persons in mind} what do you do about a relative whom you haven't seen or spoken with since you were 10, but is within a close circle of your family? or what about the friend whom you used to be ace-boon-coons with, and you may have even talked extensively with about going to each others weddings one day, but life happened, and you haven't really been in touch for a while? what about friends who aren't BFFs but might feel excluded if you invite everyone else in the circle? or what about really new, fun and fresh friends who you just met and feel close with, but can't confirm what your relationship will be in a year? the questions go on.... see? this part is not always fun.

i also want to be sensitive to the bride-groom invite ratio. where polotek is much more selective about his circle of friends, i feel that i have so many that would love to be apart of our special day. so the ratio currently stands at 2:1, but i don't want to dominate the event with all of my people! what to do?

right now the number is fluctuating between 150-200 people, and that is a very large group of people. huge, in fact.

a few people have mentioned that i should consider implementing "the single rule", where my friends that are not married, engaged, or in a serious long-term relationship should be asked to come alone. a few other people have told me they are less crazy about the idea. at this point, i have no clue what is the best thing to do.

because of these overwhelming factors, and my huge desire to make sure everyone is happy, i thank the heavens for schniz. my wedding goddess. we can rest assured that in the end, things will come together with her on our side.

i know, somewhat unrelated to this post, but so cute!

so yeah, it's a balancing act. some of you may be thinking that we should not worry about any of this, and that we should just let the cards fall where they will. but to me, it's not that easy. polotek and i are all about "the more, the merrier" and we want to be as inclusive as possible. we are having this wedding for all our friends and family because it IS a momentous occasion in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. so i say, go big or go home! that is, within the reasonable confines of our budget, of course. ;)

please feel free to share your thoughts and/or invitation list woes.


Rahree said...

i think this really is the hardest part.

when hubs and i got married, i had a small group of family and peeps, and hubs had a huge network of extended friends/family. i think about a quarter of the guests ended up being my folks, and the rest from his side....which was totally fine, because we were surrounded by the people we wanted to have with us.

also, we had a small wedding, but crammed in more folks by foregoing the formal dinner and having an open bar, super-heavy hors d'oeuvres, and a metric ton of dessert (ask Marylynn about the Pittsburgh cookie table tradition. It's AWESOME.) with a great dance band. Most folks mingled, ate a few bites, danced for a while... it was great AND allowed me to totally avoid having to seat everyone. :) Because that would've made me pazzo.

love reading about your plans!

Allison Starks said...

Ni ni! Look at your super cute wedding blog! I'm so happy for you and Marco! When I meet my future ex husband and we are planning our wedding I am sure this will be the most difficult part of the process. It really is so hard being popular, isn't it?
Personally, I totally dig the "hey we really want you to come but we just can't afford you bringing along the idiot du jour that you're hoping will sleep with you because you invited them to my wedding" thing.
If it gets to the point where you are trying to justify MY invitation, I'm happy to also serve as entertainment and jump out of your wedding cake. Just sayin.

Schniz said...

well, you already know my opinion and to its fullest extent, which is similar to alli's. every extra head in the venue will mean an extra $-- added to your budget, so be sure that everyone on the invite list is someone that means something or is special to the both of you!

oh...and i'm thinking we can work her into a surprise cake act at some point in the evening...

Christina said...

I think you should just invite couples if they REALLy are couples. Like for more than 2 days. Honestly these days people tots understand about not letting everyone and their brother bring a guest. Don't worry too much about it!