in the beginning, there was...facebook.

this morning, in putting together a few plans to host a little birthday gathering for polotek's birthday at the end of the month, i forwarded him a message through facebook and stumbled across our FIRST message exchange!! funny that i have not seen this since we sent them, as i completely forgot that facebook even had the history stored, and he and i have not facebook messaged each other since april 2008!

LOVE IT!!!

if you remember, in my 'how we met' blog post, i describe that we were first introduced by my jewish aunt on facebook. these are THE messages that we first sent each other, little did we know we would be together forever after that.... <3

AWWW, sappy-love-stuffs!

enjoy, my friends!

perhaps i should have put a disclaimer at the beginning that i may be the only person on earth who cares about this. haha either way, i loooooove it!

the natural bride.

i read a blog post this morning that got me thinking. it's from "a curl's best friend", a blog co-written by a high school friend of mine, which really is a must-stop-shop for natural hair -- it gives great tips and inspiration, style ideas, hair recipes (!!!), and talks in-depth about the real issues and struggles of maintaining naturally curly hair of ALL types. the writers, antoinette and shanti, also interview an assortment of ladies and gentlemen about their thoughts on natural hair, how they care for their own hair, etc.

anywho, today i saw an interview post that brought a recurring thought i've had in the last several weeks to the forefront of my mind....how the crap will i wear my hair for the BIG DAY?

i've been natural for about 4 years and have never looked back. well, except maybe when i try to pull off a pressed 'do on really humid days. but i definitely don't miss the insanely torturous burn of creamy crack. or having to pray before every perm that my hair doesn't fall out.

i'd say my mane is about type 4b, and there are lots of things i can do to style it. i love the versatility of my hair. however, most of the "diverse" things i can do with it defy the normal conventions of beauty as it is represented in what we see everyday. while i'm fine rocking my twist out to work or out for drinks, i feel i have to think twice when i'm considering my hair for a fancy occasion or a formal event. let's take it to the styleboard...check out a series of various styles i have worn over the years...

i've always loved to keep people guessing about what style i'd have the next time they saw me...

in short:

the battle for black women everywhere = euro look vs. natural look

clearly, this is/has been an issue for other brides-to-be than myself. now i will say that i tend to air on the side of a more european, tamed and straightened style for special occasions, and it is worth heavily noting that i make, wear and sell handmade wigs and other hair pieces. and the reason why i like to make wigs for myself is because i like the fun of it, and i like to change things up once in a while. but i feel i now have to ask myself if my desire to go euro for the big day is driven by years of fashion media brainwashing that make me think i should look a certain way?

i think the bride featured in the post i mentioned earlier is so beautiful. 

seeing her pictures definitely inspires me to wear a natural style. i also found some other lovely styles on the interwebs, but when i see 99% of them, i'm like....but would that look good on ME?? let's take look at some of those...

click the photo and it will get bigger ;)

luckily, i have 341 days to figure this out and get it right. but right now i'm planning to rock a simply-styled wig for the wedding (see: carla). but what does it say about me that i am inclined to wig it up?

i'm also am contemplating this same dilemma for my engagement shoot {more to come on that -- it's this week!}, but it seems like less of an issue right now -- namely because those photos don't cost thousands of dollars!

cast your votes, people. tell me what YOUR thoughts are on this matter....

a very important date!

what could be a better start to my monday, than to hear that we are officially booked for our wedding venue?!?! ten pages of contract, four days, and one $2000 deposit later -- we are in business!

looks like the BIG DAY will be friday, september 21, 2012 -- also known as polotek's last chance to make a run for the hills.

at this point, the race is well underway. schniz and i have been joking that at the pace we've been planning this thing, it may be ready by december.

aside from the venue, caterer, and invite list, the wedding decisions and discussions are fun and easypeasey -- so excited to share it with y'all. speaking of sharing, this seems like a nice point to introduce the story of polotek and operaqueenie's first date.

first off, i'll have you know that we were fixed up by a mutual friend, and went on a sort of blind date. i say "sort of" because we did see each other's facebook pages first. in fact, that was the first contact...

so, i'm over a friend's house -- who i lovingly call my "jewish aunt" or "tante" -- and we are watching american idol {not that i'm a fan of that show, i just like to make fun of the contestants}. i start going on and on about how one of the singers, a white boy with dreadlocks, on the show is such a product, and how they were manufacturing some "unique" cookie-cutter template of a singer blah blah blah, and she jumps in blurting out that i had to meet this guy from her job who has dreadlocks. she works as a recruiter for a software company, and after being thrown off by her interruption, the first thing that i say is:

  "so he's a nerd?"
  "well, he's kind of nerdy, but he's a nice guy."
  "he's a nice guy...so...he's ugly?"
  "he's not ugly, but he's probably shorter than you."
  "well, almost everyone is shorter than me."
  "he's on facebook -- we can look him up!"

...she pulls up his facebook page...

malcolm-jamal warner, anyone??

  "ok, he's not bad looking..."
  "at the very least, you could make a new friend." {i had just moved to the dc area}

...my jewish aunt matchmaker then proceeded to send polotek a message on facebook, saying that he should meet her niece who is new to the area {he was definitely surprised to find that she had a black "niece"}, and that we should get together sometime. then she made me change my profile picture to one she approved.

from this...

she wasn't a fan of the open mouth photo.

to this.

yay! mouth closed.

then i went home.

when i got back to my craptastic apartment {i'll save that story for another time}, i had a facebook message from polotek titled "the definition of awkward is...", and in the body it said, "this." but then he went on to say that my jewish aunt is pretty cool, and since she has vouched for me like she did, i must be worth meeting.

so we set up a date.

we met at my fave sushi place of the moment and had dinner. hit it off right from the start. decided to catch a movie with a couple of his friends afterward. they didn't hate me. when i got back home and dished to my roomie, i was all googly.

aaaand the rest is history {in the making}.