Sunday, October 16, 2011

the natural bride.

i read a blog post this morning that got me thinking. it's from "a curl's best friend", a blog co-written by a high school friend of mine, which really is a must-stop-shop for natural hair -- it gives great tips and inspiration, style ideas, hair recipes (!!!), and talks in-depth about the real issues and struggles of maintaining naturally curly hair of ALL types. the writers, antoinette and shanti, also interview an assortment of ladies and gentlemen about their thoughts on natural hair, how they care for their own hair, etc.

anywho, today i saw an interview post that brought a recurring thought i've had in the last several weeks to the forefront of my mind....how the crap will i wear my hair for the BIG DAY?

i've been natural for about 4 years and have never looked back. well, except maybe when i try to pull off a pressed 'do on really humid days. but i definitely don't miss the insanely torturous burn of creamy crack. or having to pray before every perm that my hair doesn't fall out.

i'd say my mane is about type 4b, and there are lots of things i can do to style it. i love the versatility of my hair. however, most of the "diverse" things i can do with it defy the normal conventions of beauty as it is represented in what we see everyday. while i'm fine rocking my twist out to work or out for drinks, i feel i have to think twice when i'm considering my hair for a fancy occasion or a formal event. let's take it to the styleboard...check out a series of various styles i have worn over the years...

i've always loved to keep people guessing about what style i'd have the next time they saw me...
in short:
the battle for black women everywhere = euro look vs. natural look

clearly, this is/has been an issue for other brides-to-be than myself. now i will say that i tend to air on the side of a more european, tamed and straightened style for special occasions, and it is worth heavily noting that i make, wear and sell handmade wigs and other hair pieces. and the reason why i like to make wigs for myself is because i like the fun of it, and i like to change things up once in a while. but i feel i now have to ask myself if my desire to go euro for the big day is driven by years of fashion media brainwashing that make me think i should look a certain way?

i think the bride featured in the post i mentioned earlier is so beautiful. 


seeing her pictures definitely inspires me to wear a natural style. i also found some other lovely styles on the interwebs, but when i see 99% of them, i'm like....but would that look good on ME?? let's take look at some of those...

click the photo and it will get bigger ;)

luckily, i have 341 days to figure this out and get it right. but right now i'm planning to rock a simply-styled wig for the wedding (see: carla). but what does it say about me that i am inclined to wig it up?

i'm also am contemplating this same dilemma for my engagement shoot {more to come on that -- it's this week!}, but it seems like less of an issue right now -- namely because those photos don't cost thousands of dollars!

cast your votes, people. tell me what YOUR thoughts are on this matter....

8 comments:

Jeffrey Elizabeth Copeland said...

You know what's funny?? This topic was like the second thing that automatically came to my mind when you told me Marco proposed to you!!!! I was just like "OMG!! This is SO exciting....but how will she style her hair?!?!?!"

I vote you do a natural roller set, and wear it in an up do... and may be with a little 'something extra' in the back; but, it mostly just depends on what style of dress you decide on. But definitely a natural roller set.

OperaQueenie said...

i have yet to try a roller set with my natural hair. is this something you can do? maybe we need to schedule a trial run over the holidays??

Jeffrey Elizabeth Copeland said...

Believe it or not, it's actually a lot easier than one would think...so long as you have a good technique of rolling the hair around the rollers, good holding products, and a top-notch blow dryer, it's a pretty easy, yet very classy, do.

I would be happy to give you a tutorial over the holidays.....speaking of, will I be seeing the Rodgers-Williams (soon-to-be Rodgers) clan for Thanksgiving at grandma's?

DeeGee said...

or schedule an appointment at a natural hair salon. Go natural!

OperaQueenie said...

@deegee: reasonable advice, but you know i'm a DIYer! although, i am not ruling it out as an option.

Tesha said...

First I want to say that such a dialogue as this is quite engaging and necessary. Thanks Nini! So today I wore round wooden earrings with the text, "100% Natural." I purposely wore them today to make a statement at the MLK Dedication out on the National Mall. It worked. The designer should actually hire me as staff. Anyhoo, I digress...The internal battle of when to wear my natural curls and when not to is an ongoing fight. My mom asked me what would my decision be for the style of my tresses on that magical day...I responded, I'll wear it in the style that my man likes most; and then, I responded that I'd wear it in the style that my man met me wearing...I must say that my response is yet unresolved. Nini, do what makes you feel beautiful and dont feel bad if that feeling is stimulated by societal opinions of beauty. You cant get that special day back, even if when you're 55 you re-new your vows! No doubt your special day will make a statement about the new Mrs. Rogers, but make sure its about love and not compromised by hair. You'll have the rest of your marriage for as many hairstyles as he can stand!

Sr89 said...

Nini I'd say rock the style that you want and screw what you think everyone else's perception will be about your choices...its YOUR day! I've been relaxer-free for 2 years and I didn't do it for any of the reasons people talk about...I just wanted to. So if you find a style you love with your natural hair rock it, but if you find a wig or weave that you love more, girl do it and do it big, you don't want to look back and have the case of the what-if's when you're scrolling through pics on your 1 year anniv. I just wouldn't vote for you wearing a style that takes you out of character, we love our Nini!

P.S. I agree with Jeffrey...it may be a tad tiny bit easier when you find a dress (which is a whole other fiasco-HAVE FUN!!!!!)

Anna said...

I personally love, love, love the natural updos you posted with the beautiful hairpieces. That double headband? Hell yeah! One thing that you can be assured of is that you will look gorgeous no matter what :)